Yeah, so I'm procrastinating. I got an email re: my last blog entry, as per usual, so I would just like to reinforce to self, and anyone else reading, that people DO read here who don't make formal comments. (There. I feel better.)
I took today off - sub day - OHH yeah. It was good. I was up at 6:45 (an extra hour's sleep!!) and I was RUNNING. Major housework, laundry, grading done, then lunch with good, good friend C., then Target for semi-major purchases (including Juno, 2-disc set - excited!) and then to Starbucks (satellite home office) for two more hours of grading - FINISHED! Well, finished all that I had to grade -still about 25 "rewrites" to grade - curses to kids who don't follow directions and/or do shitty jobs on research papers (yeah, I'll take that NC-17 rating - might as well "language up.")
So, I've realized lately that the bugger of it all for me right now is that my "everyday" friends that I talk to on a regular basis are ALL in... wait for it... Colorado. That place I moved away from nearly four years ago. I mean, yeah, I have J. and C. here - and I LOVE them mucho. But I do not talk to them on a regular basis like I do L. and K. and even M. in CO., as well as frequent emails with J. - there's a reason I'm spending a week and 1/2 in Denver this summer. Why is it that I have not connected with people in Nashville since I moved here? Well, actually, I forget my good friend S. who has been invaluable to me since moving here, but he's a GUY. Where are my girlfriends? I click with, like, 90% of the people I meet - and I'm just realizing that I haven't formed significant attachments here. My small group has, frankly, infinite possibility. But I have yet to spend time with people, even just on the PHONE, that makes me feel like... I don't know. Like, I'm KNOWN here. I do feel cared for, here. I REALLY do. Like, my small group would kick your small group's ass ANY time. Seriously. I'm just needing some one-on-one, what was your day like comraderie.
You know what? I'm done for now. As the name of my blog indicates, quite explicitly, sometimes I just need to vent. I hope your week is going well, dear readers. Sorry to bitch and moan. I will persevere.
1 comment:
I feel that so deeply, that idea of wanting to be "known." I get it.
I hate that it's so hard to connect and to get deep and real with people. There does always seem to be this veneer down here. It's hard to shake, truly. I'm glad to have gotten to connect with you though...
you're a kindred spirit, babe.
...bitch and moan anytime.
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