Week 2 of teaching high school (unexpectedly) has ended, and I'm still in a bit of a blur as to how I actually got here. I'm learning how to plan a little better - more efficiently - because it is a part-time job after all, so it really doesn't make sense to work 9 and 10 hours a day when I'm getting paid for 4.5. Yeah. I love the kids - they are fun fun fun, but they're only making me wish I was doing Young Life again - not necessarily making me feel like "ah, yes. Teaching again. This is where I'm meant to be." Don't get me wrong - I'm not feeling like I shouldn't be teaching. I just thought I was going to have another few months of subbing and temping and maybe the temping would turn into something long-term and then I'd be doing something different than teaching and hey - wouldn't THAT be neat?
The funny thing (well, one funny thing amongst many funny things)is that I haven't let myself sit and process much at all. Who has time for such frivolity? My prayers are basically prayers of thankfulness, which I guess is a pretty right place to be - it's literally day by day thank you for your provision, God. Because I really don't know how/what to pray next.
Yes, it's Sunday morning, and I could be at church, where maybe God would be RIGHT-AT-THIS-VERY-MINUTE speaking truth into my life. But maybe he can do it here, too, as I do laundry and pack up to move to my housesitting gig for the next two weeks. I'm trying to let go of my attachment to my things and my need to "nest" and demonstrate my personality through my apartment/whatever. Not having a classroom is another manifestation of that struggle: in no place in my life right now, personally or professionally, do I have a "space" to call my own. For me, personally, that is problematic. But I'm understanding as the days (minutes?) go by that it's not catastrophic. Doesn't have to be.
Last night I went out with my friend Kym who is moving to NYC Wednesday - we met three young ladies for dinner and then went to a rockin' little party where there were many fun - EGADS! - SINGLE people. And it was fun to meet new people and small talk and then deep-talk, and no, I didn't meet any boys that I could crush on (I mean, there were plenty there, but I'm realistic.) But I did get phone numbers of three new friends that I'm excited to see again. Big picture of my social life? Who the hell knows. I'm just doing the day by day thing, and for today, I am thankful for a fun night last night and a day today where I am feeling semmi-motivated to move my stuff over to the new temporary home. Chipping away at this crazy, mad world I'm currently living in. Sorry this post isn't more cohesive, but this rambling with no firm point or no sense of underlying foundation... hey, people. It's a metaphor for something.
Cheers to new friends and new adventures in dependence on the God Who knows better than I do.
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