Day off tomorrow - a Personal Day. That means you don't have to give a reason for your day off - you just take it. And my reason for taking a day off, with summer break a mere week away, is that I just don't have the energy or the mindset to go through "Spring Day" at school. Kids get their yearbooks, we have two meaningless class periods in the morning (one being two HOURS long,) and the rest of the day is pure, undirected chaos. And I didn't want to sing in the faculty band - it's not fun anymore.
So midway through second period today, I started writing sub plans for tomorrow, and I really am glad I did. I need to grade a crap load of Romeo and Juliet essays to get them back on Monday, and I don't know if I'll feel like doing that tomorrow, but it will give me an extra day on the weekend to do whatever I feel like doing. I need to do a little shopping, my friend's garage sale is Saturday, I'm getting my "fix-the-first-haircut-second-haircut" on Sat. afternoon, and have two church services I need to go to Sunday afternoon (long story.)
In a wicked place right now - a place where I'm not so much depressed as I am angry at myself. Feeling little love for the little daughter of the King that I am. Yeah, just not hearing any truth right now. I've isolated myself since the flood. At first the flood isolated me by trapping in my house for two days - safe and dry, but literally unable to go anywhere. It's disintegrated since then. Just feeling isolated in general, and not in a good solitude kind of way.
And I'll just say what you may have thought recently - man, are my thoughts dry. My writing is blah. I have no joy to fuel it - no whimsy to amuse me. 30 Rock and The Office amused me tonight, which is something... hey, I'll take it. But my journal has become a laundry list of goal-setting. It's boring. I have no spark - I need to sit up and take heed - what is God trying to talk to me about? Probably that hating myself is not acceptable - that's probably in there somewhere.
Well, I guess I just felt the ol' tug to write something - anything - to put something up here. To say I'm trying. To say I'm here. With summer so close, I'll be posting about travel plans soon - I have a bunch. Here's to a 3-day weekend. Cheers.
1 comment:
Your personal day has been like 2 weeks now! I have been checking to see if there are any updates from visiting the east coast. I hope you are having fun! See you soon!!!!
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