Got my summer on

As my friend Jenn said tonight,"Sounds like you got your summer on." I had just told her how I am now tan, got some blond back in my hair from being in the sun so much, gettin my teeth cleaned Tuesday - yep, I've got my summer on. Glad to be back.

Tonight I saw "Fever Pitch" with some girlfriends after a little pseudo-Mexican dinner. It was a pretty fun little love/baseball movie, after some shaky scenes that caused me pause in the beginning. A bit cheesy. A bit "wink - wink" isn't Drew cute and quirky and adorable? But they got past it satisfactorally. (Is that a word?) I love Jimmy Fallon in this movie. He makes me laugh - in fact, several times I laughed when noone else in the theater laughed (THAT'S always a fun feeling.)

I read in a Donald Miller book today, the one that's not BLJ. He's hittin the nail on the head for me in a lot of ways. I will quote some of the passages this week - suffice it to say, I am thinking a lot; not liking myself very much, but loving the news (as it is "new" to me again) that God is personally enamored of me. Me. As I am right now, not for what I am to become and not for what I can do for Him and in spite of what I've done to let Him down, if that's really something I can do. I was reminded this week how little I think of myself when a friend told me I hurt her feelings, and I'm thinking "Me? Something I did cause YOU sadness?" I just don't believe it when it happens. And it does happen. Gosh, it's such a catch 22 that low self-esteem doesn't let you believe that you're worthy of love, and yet God is available to help with that and bring you out of that if only you - well I, could let myself believe that I am worthy enough of such attention from him. Well, it makes sense to me, anyway. I can wrap my head around it somewhat, just not my heart.

And it's that time when bed calls to me since the children will need me in top form tomorrow - state testing this week - I've got to be in cheerleading mode at least for the first two days when they're taking the tests for the content that I'VE been responsible for teaching them. (Who CARES about science and history? PSHAW!) I want them to kick ass and take names - they are SMARTER than these stupid tests. Ah, for a spirit of gentleness and encouragement this week. And a little grace for myself thrown in. I can do this.